Handling Difficult Sign Clients, Part 1: The Bully

AS A CAR DEALER’S kid, I learned at a young age that much of the population does not enjoy going into a car dealership. Whether to negotiate on a car, have a car repaired or even buy a car part, there was often some kind of negative feeling or downright resentment in the clients. We were seen as adversaries, by and large.

As a result, by working there starting at age 15 and for the next 20 years, I learned how to work peaceably with pretty much any type of unhappy client I encountered. More than once, I stood in a service drive and had a customer who had come on a third trip for a repair, yelling into my face hard enough to make their neck veins pulse.

There is much written about this art form — soothing the savage customer — but I wanted to do a series about types of difficult clients and how I learned to work with them. The type that was the most emotionally triggering to me was The Bully, the customer that pushes, argues, demands, threatens and intimidates to get their way.

I remember when an unhappy service customer called me and dressed me down very thoroughly over the phone regarding an estimate I gave him on repairs. He told me he would call the newspaper and have them do an article about our thievery and immoral practices, and that he could get it done because he was a big advertiser with them.

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I walked quickly to my father’s office, shut the door and burst into tears. My father then taught me one lesson that has saved me in countless situations with customers I felt scared of or intimidated by. He said, “A bully only understands one thing — being bullied back.”

He immediately picked up the phone and dialed the customer. This was not just any customer; this was a customer who spent a lot of money with us and was very prominent in our community for his chain of pawn shops.

“Hello, George,” my father said calmly when the customer answered. Without missing a beat, my father said, very flatly and very firmly, “You will never speak to one of my employees like that again. Do not threaten or yell at them or we’ll not do business with you again.”

He didn’t yell, but he spoke with force. There was no debate about right and wrong. He simply drew a line.

The customer apologized and they both ended the call with a civil tone. He decided to have the repair done and my father sent him a note thanking him for his business. George never yelled at me again, even when he was unhappy about his car repairs.

Here are the practices I have learned regarding a bullying or pushy client:

1. Stay calm. The more they wind themselves up, the more you focus on staying centered and lower your voice so they have to listen more closely to hear you. You may have to speak loudly to get their attention, but then lower it quickly and stay civil.
2. Listen completely and do not interrupt. Write down notes as they speak to help you remember how you want to reply, but do not interrupt. When they run out of words and it’s your turn, be sure to keep them from interrupting you and ask them to be as patient as you were.

The biggest thrill I learned to enjoy was to calm a customer down, listen completely, and find a solution for us both. They often became my most loyal clients when they understood I would hear them out. Most bullies are simply scared and need to be heard and held accountable.

It’s not always easy to follow this advice, but with practice, you will handle bullies and improve in your emotional control!

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