A Woman Sign Company Owner Confronts a Sexist Wholesaler

“WHY DON’T YOU stick to vinyl and banners, honey, and let the big boys take care of channel letter sets?” Stanislaus Kowalski said to Maddy Barlo, more as a statement than a question. Kowalski, owner of SK Channel Mfg, was Chicagoland’s largest channel letter wholesaler and Barlo’s shop, Signapalooza Downtown, had recently submitted specs for a new Vietnamese restaurant sign in a nearby strip mall.

“Excuse me, what?” Barlo asked, definitely a question and a statement, to which Kowalski, apparently used to this reaction, pivoted to what he thought was being complimentary, talking up Barlo’s shop strengths, but came off somewhere between patronizing and condescending. A few more terse sentences were exchanged before he parted, but you get the picture.

“Forget him,” Barlo later said of Kowalski to Ryan, her husband and minority co-owner of Signapalooza Downtown. Except she didn’t say, ‘Forget.’ “I don’t care how much more everyone else might charge,” she continued. “We are not working with him. There are plenty of other wholesalers out there. Let’s look in Sign of the Times.”

Indeed, she found one offering great service and competitive pricing. Signapalooza Downtown fulfilled the sale of the Vietnamese restaurant sign with help from a local installer. This led to another job for a new store opening in the same strip mall. And then another and another … again, you get the picture.

Two years passed. Signapalooza Downtown steadily built up its channel letter business, becoming one of the three fastest growing customers of wholesale channel letters in the Chicago area. The increased volume got the attention of Kowalski, who contacted Barlo by email, requesting an appointment to bid on her work.

“Why are you taking the meeting?” Ryan asked. “This guy was such a jerk to you.”

“I’m interested in how he’s going to act this time, what he’ll say now that he’s coming to us,” she said. “I don’t know. I may brush him off right to his face.”

The next week Kowalski arrived early for the meeting and waited patiently for Barlo to see him. She greeted him in the shop’s lobby and led him back to her office.

“You co-own your business with your husband but you’re the majority owner?” Kowalski said, again more as a statement than a question. “That’s impressive,” he quickly followed up before Barlo could say, “Yes.”

“Thank you,” Barlo replied. “The arrangement has worked out well.”

“Well enough for Signapalooza Downtown to more than triple its channel letter sales year over year,” Kowalski said. “Which is why I wanted to meet with you today.”

“Um-hm,” Barlo said, concentrating on her best poker face.

“But first, I owe you an apology,” Kowalski said. “The last time we spoke, I didn’t take you or your shop seriously and not only did that cost me some business, but it also was just the wrong thing to do, a bad way to behave.”

“Well…” Barlo started, but Kowalski quickly continued his deep-breath admission.

“You see, my daughter joined my company eight months ago and she tells me a lot of sign guys don’t take her seriously, ask to see me instead, just treat her like she doesn’t count or even exist.” He paused a moment. “And that’s what I did to you, and to other women in sign companies, and for that, I’m deeply sorry.”

Barlo thought, “Didn’t see this coming,” then said to Kowalski, “Thank you.”

“So I’m hoping you might give me another chance,” he said. “I think we can be very competitive in price and delivery with whoever you’ve been working with.”

Get the picture?

My thanks to Maggie Harlow, owner of Signarama Downtown (Louisville, KY), whose own experience inspired this story, though this ends differently from Maggie’s. — Rolf L’mao

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Robert B.
Oakdale, CT

Give him another shot. It takes a lot to admit when you have wronged someone, especially a case of discrimination like this. All you’re going to get from him is a quote; you’re not giving him a job unless the quote is good. Then once he earns a job, see how it goes. If it’s good, keep getting quotes. You have to be able to let go to keep your business going.

Kevin O.
Dallas

If I were Maddy, I’d accept this apology and work with him, being mindful to disallow any more condescension, should it rear its ugly head again, referring to Kowalski’s daughter if need be. Taking the higher road is (almost) always the best route. P.S. Congrats to the real Maggie Harlow out there!

Steve T.
Needham, MA

The business needs more women.

Don B.
Cypress, CA

“Kowalski, I really appreciate your understanding and apology. Provided you can be competitive and add value to a new business relationship, we will seriously consider you as a second source for our business.”

Larry S.
Greenville, SC

Lipstick on a pig is still a pig. Stick with the company you are currently dealing with, if you’re satisfied with them. I treat my customers like friends and like my vendors to treat me that way as well. This guy is just kissing up!

Dan W.

Let him bid, but if his bid is not significantly lower than the lowest other bid you have, I’d use the other guys. The other guys have served you faithfully for years and deserve customer loyalty.

Christine A.
Texarkana, TX

It is my firm belief to extend people second chances. This gentleman apologized, which is a very rare thing to happen. When heartfelt apologies happen, they restore one’s faith in humanity. Sometimes people have to experience [committing] a wrong in order to make a right.

Jake Z.
Randolph, VT

This is an easy one. People respond better to personal connections and emotional narratives than to arguments and statistics. A stranger at a tradeshow is just another impersonal abstraction; your daughter saying “[they] were disrespectful to me and I can see a clear pattern of behavior” is a non-ignorable appeal to the personal relationship. We’ve all heard the old adage, “it’s just business; it’s not personal.” Well, in my experience in the sign industry, it is ALL personal. At a small scale in particular, you are not forming relationships with the organization your customers represent; you are forming a relationship with the one particular person in that organization who is stuck dealing with sign-related issues. Once they leave, you are starting from scratch with someone new, and that person, as the face of that organization, may or may not decide to “take their business elsewhere.” There is a lot of philosophical agreement about the notion that we aren’t individuals, we are the relationships we form with everything, and everyone around us. Ignoring this has consequences.

Melvin S.
Cookeville, TN

“I would insist on dealing with the daughter.”

Jenni D.
St. Louis

This scenario hits close to home. I have had similar experiences with both men and women overlooking my capabilities and bee-lining to my husband who just is in the beginning stages of learning this industry. I have been in the industry for decades. Here is what I have learned from this: Brush it off. People do what people know. Majority of the time, it’s them, not you. Developing relationships in business is not easy, but once your relationship is established, it is rewarding to see the growth that comes out of giving people a second chance. I also look inward on my abilities to handle situations like said story. I also learned a little hack, when someone says something to me that is maybe off the cuff and unbusinesslike. I respond, “That’s interesting. Now why would you say that?” That usually breaks the ice in a conversation without sounding defeated.

Justine B.
Rice Lake, WI

Excellent article!

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